Small Town News

My friend D. and I once talked about how we think everyone in America should have the opportunity to live in such a pleasant town as Chelsea. Sure, it might not be for everyone, but everyone should have the opportunity to live in a safe neighborhood, with shopping and art and restaurants within walking distance.

Still, however much I try, I cannot seem to muster much interest in local government. A major story in Thursday’s Chelsea Standard might give a clue as to why. Yep, I’m sorry I missed the sandwich board debate.

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not knocking Chelsea and I am glad that there are people who run it and people who want to keep their businesses here (especially Cranesbill Books - thank you, Cranesbill Books). But this seems like much ado. The sandwich boards don’t detract from downtown any more than the horrid, touristy new purple and green street signs do. In fact, I rather appreciate the sandwich boards, because in Chelsea a few businesses have variable hours, and if the sign is out then I know they’re open. (Here I interject that I’m sorry I wasn’t able to buy more knitting supplies at the now-closed Gathering Basket, but the shop was rarely open at a time when I could patronize it.)

Besides, the way people drive in this town is a bigger impediment to foot traffic than an entire obstacle course of sandwich boards. Drivers speed down residential streets at 20 miles over the posted limit. ‘Cuz you know, Chelsea’s huge and it takes forever to drive that mile to Pamida. Cats are run over, parents with small children put out big fluorescent admonishments to slow down. Drivers treat stop signs like green lights and practically mow down pedestrians trying to get to the post office. My favorites are the ones who wave you across, only to drive around you when you’re in the middle of the street. I have considered carrying a bag of ping-pong balls, or some other small, projectile objects, to lob at their windshields as they narrowly miss my toes.

Yeah, okay, rant over. Yeah, I know. Take it to City Council.