If He Hangs Up on Me

Does that mean we broke up?

The sloppy kissing was corrected. I was figuring out his quirks. I was having fun, making plans to introduce him to friends. But I guess I ask for too much (I want him to say something other than, "Oh well" when something bad happens with my work) and I'm demanding (I want to be asked about my work in the first place) and I'm unfair to him (I occassionally want him to drive, which he has done all of twice in the last four months) and I really get on his nerves.

Really? I did not know that. What have I been doing that's been getting on his nerves? Cooking him food that he's too cheap to buy for himself? Being the Ann Arbor-Chelsea shuttle for our sleep-overs? Attending his lectures? Listening to him yammer about baseball, which I do not give two shits about, but I'm listening to him because, you know, I like him?

The first time I heard that I get on his nerves was tonight, right before his words became a handful of marbles flung down a flight of stairs, a cascade of accusations, "Sorrys," "Can't do this," "Been here befores," tumbling over each other. Right before the *click*.

Now, I am not blind to my own failings. I can be moody, irrational, melodramatic, and judgmental. I am easily bored and tend to wander off. I get frustrated when I don't get my way. When I realize I have done one of these things, whether I have been called on it or come to my senses on my own, I apologize. I'm working on it.

We are all a work in progress.

Our personalities are such that I've been wondering how long a term this thing might be. But I never figured him for one to hang up and cut communication like that. I can understand him being upset. I can understand being gun-shy; I don't know what happened to him before. And I want to know. I want to know his stories, his experiences, what he's wanting from his life, from a relationship. It seems that expecting the same level of interest and regard from him in return is expecting too much. No matter what happens between us from here on out, that *click* will always be there.