Night on Bald Mountain

In the dream, I have just washed my hair and am combing it out in front of the mirror. My hair looks as it does every day, except that a three- to four-inch swath above my eyebrows is totally bald.

This panics me.

The online dream dictionaries take this as a warning. “If [hair] was thin, falling out, or worrying you in any way, it forecasts difficulties ahead,” according to Swoon.com. People on message boards interpret balding as a signal that something that was concealed must now be revealed, or a symbol of emerging consciousness. Myjellybean.com has this to say: “If you dream of a bald-headed man, it is a warning to use your intelligence to reject a romantic or sexual offer you are going to get.” But I didn’t dream of a bald-headed man, I dreamed of a partially bald-headed me. Does that mean I can accept part of the romantic or sexual offer? Ooh - I do hope it’s the part where we take our clothes off.

I admit that I am vain about my hair. It is thick, naturally wavy, and hard to control, so I don’t mess too much with it. The more product I put in it, the worse it looks. It seems to have a mind of its own, and I’m usually satisfied with what it decides to do.

The dream affects me because, unfortunately, my hair has decided to start falling out, and I am not at all happy with that.

Looking in the mirror in real life, I can see white scalp showing through where I didn’t before. Running my fingers through it, the individual strands feel thinner. There is always a clump in the comb. My hairdresser says my hair is heatlhy, that this is all normal, that hair does tend to get finer in texture as we age, and that as long as I’m not getting up in the morning with half my head still on the pillow, the shedding is probably nothing to worry about. But I do.

Even though I know baldness is passed from mother to son on the X-chromosome, I’m thinking there must be more to it than that simple explanation - multiple alleles or something. There is a very strong pattern for baldness in my family. My father has been bald since the age of 25. My brother started to lose his hair in high school and began taking Rogaine around age eighteen to try to slow the exodus.

So what’s a slightly vain but otherwise naturalistic girl to do? I find Rogaine, like many drugs, kinda scary. Nothing like exchanging thinning hair for high blood pressure and hives. Besides, I’ve always done my best to accept the parts of myself I cannot change. I’ve already decided that when those few strands of my “blonde highlights” start spreading out, I’m just going to let it go gray (although I admit I do pluck the one that stands straight up in the middle of my part).

But bald...I dunno.