Dear Ann Arbor News:
This is a picture of my front step. Something is missing. Do you know what it is? Yes, that’s right, the Sunday morning newspaper is missing. For the third time in eight weeks.
Without your newspaper, how will I reread all the AP wire stories I read online last night? How will I know where Madonna had lunch in 1977, or whether students still put tatty old couches on their porches? How will I even know ZOMG!!! THERE R STUDENTZ HEAR!!!!1111 if I don’t read your columnists? Will I survive art fair without a two-page Art Fair Survival spread?
I acknowledge that when I called two weeks ago about my missing paper, I received a Monday and Tuesday paper that week, even though I don’t subscribe to the daily. That was sweet of you to try to make up with me. But here I am paperless again.
Look, I subscribe to a Sunday morning newspaper because I like the experience of perching my glasses on my nose and rustling the pages around while I sip a mug of milky breakfast tea. Note that says breakfast. Not lunch. You have to understand that your newspaper is not my source for news. Rather, it’s part of my personal experience, my weekly glasses-perching, tea-sipping ritual. Whether I’m rustling the pages of the Ann Arbor News or the Detroit Free Press doesn’t make all that much difference to me.
Catch my drift?
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