Predigested

I receive a gift subscription to Reader’s Digest on a yearly basis. The jokes and Mary Roach’s column are usually good for some mild amusement. The rest of it...meh. After reading it for most of my life, I’ve come to understand why they call it a digest. It’s the intellectual equivalent of unflavored yogurt. Bland, pallid, and already partially digested for you.

The pap has become more and more pre-chewed over the last few years, and the conservative bias really shows. Or maybe I’ve just gotten more discerning or too big for my britches. Snippets even shorter than the articles now take up the first few pages. I’m not sure who finds the “Word Power” feature a challenge, with words like “emit.” “impending.” and “dissenter.” But I think I will look up “tchotchkes” in the American Heritage Dictionary 1) Just to see if its there and 2) If an Indo-European root or any cognates are listed.

The August 2005 “special” 1000th issue is particularly rich. They’ve focused on “14 Amazing Trends That Will Change Your Life.” There’s an article on data mining and ineffectual ways to try to shore up your eroding privacy. There’s an article on self-scanners in grocery stores and automated customer service telephone calls. There’s an article on using religion to market more tchotchkes to people. Like it’s a good thing. I guess God’s a capitalist. (And a Penn State fan - that’s why the sky’s blue and white.)

And then there’s this charming piece of spin, the one that nearly made me spit a Cheerio across the room: #5. “Making Your Job Work for You: With the coming labor shortage, you’ll have more freedom, more flexibility, and maybe even a fatter paycheck.”

Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha haa ha ha!

How do you know your two benefitless jobs are providing you freedom, flexibility, and a fat paycheck? Elaine Chao, Jack Welch, and Citigroup say so.

Personally, I think they should have included Janis Joplin: "Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose."

According to wikipedia, the University of Guelph “stated publicly that they carry the magazine only as an example of propaganda.”

Those Canadians! Ha ha!

*sigh*